Many people ask me about school visits. Yes, you are always welcome to come visit me! It’d be great if you can be here before noon. The security number at my gate is #532. Please give me at least 10 minutes heads-up so I can lay out some sandwiches.

That’s my house. I pay extra to have it enshrouded in fog.

These are all of the elementary schools that I have never visited: *

  • Claymont Elementary

    Uhrichsville, OH

  • Ohlone Elementary

    Palo Alto, California

  • Wheatland Elementary

    Wichita, KS

  • Village Elementary

    West Windsor Township, NJ

  • Council Oak Elementary

    Tulsa, OK

  • Symmes Elementary

    Loveland, Ohio

  • Bennett Elementary

    Detroit, MI

  • * This list may be incomplete. If I have never been to your school, let me know and I will add you to the list.